Slut, slut, slut...

A vision of water pouring out of lips -- "out of your belly will flow living waters..."

Things I'm learning during this season...

1. A blessing can be disguised as a curse...


2. Sexual integrity is not just NOT sleeping with nor kissing someone, it involves things like avoiding emotional affairs and changing my thought life and speech and so much more...


3. I don't need to pretend like I'm over this when I'm not totally over it yet...


4. If I tell myself not to think of something or someone, that's like telling myself not to think of a purple elephant. All I'll see are purple elephants. So it's better to just let the thoughts come -- and cast them off to Christ to handle and ask Him to replace them with much healthier and holier and more prosperous vistas...


5. That I love the way Yahweh shows me stuff through my dreams -- and some of the points I remember I immediately type out in my offline dream journal soon after leaving my alpha state of sleep in the morning, as suggested in The Artist's Way and by other artists.


6. And I also love the hope that He gives me through visions, like the one I had the other day of a pair of red lips that had water pouring out of the mouth, and it reminded me of the "out of your belly will flow living waters" Scripture. I had to immediately draw that mug out so I could chronicle it -- I'd never seen that one before. I've seen visions like water and gold and honey pouring from heaven, but not out of lips like that, so that was very meaningful to me in ways that few know...but God knows.


7. That when the thoughts "Drive into that brick wall" or "Take that whole bottle of pills" come to me, they are not from heaven, and it takes work to continually cast dirty slutty thoughts from my mind and give them to Jesus to put in His jail...


8. I like shocking and honest blog titles; coupled with the Lord God's favor, they help people come and read...


9. My focus needn't be on what my husband does wrong or other people -- God deals with their sins as He needs to with a quickness -- it's best for me to magnify their great qualities, because they have so many. I need to take a hard look at my own sins and faults and seriously repent by turning away from bad behavior and letting our Maker make me better...


10. I can't worry about what other people think (or "mis-think") of me more than what He thinks of me...


11. Praise Him for sending me great Christian friends -- some sort of new ones, and others that I haven't seen in awhile that contact me "out of the blue" to go talk at Caribou or in hotels or living rooms or in cars and cry and connect and agree to do pole dancing exercise classes with me in 2012. He knows just what I need when I need it...thanks, Christian Cleavage!


12. That this story really isn't over yet -- and that when I hold on to His unchanging hand through those "valley" moments, He really does make the interesting plot point shifts and new chapters in our lives glorious -- and makes me glad that I didn't give up at those low points.


13. God really answers prayers and brings people to my words, even at 3 a.m., that 4th watch of the night that I prayed about in His Son's Name. He is faithful to forgive. ;-)