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Showing posts from November, 2011

How far have I fallen?

That's the question I asked myself this morning, after coming out of the freezing cold having biked for 7 or 8 miles in the snow like a crazy person.

But the snow in my hair and frigid wetness on my face and muddy clothes felt fine -- because again, I'm right where I need to be at this time and space and place in my life.

"Remember from where you have fallen," came the lesson today whilst I was seeking Him, loving the way Jesus complimented that wayward church first before telling them their faults and warning them to do right before worse stuff happens:

Look how far you have fallen! 

Turn back to me and do the works you did at first. If you don't repent, I will come and remove your lampstand from its place among the churches.

So that had me reminiscing about when I first got saved, or any times that I was closer to God than I had been lately. Not that I want to turn into some judge-y Ms. Super Saint, but I did think of some times when I spent more time with Him…

21 days...

I made it past the 17 days that put my mind on that Prince song, and now that it's late into the night of the Central Time Zone that I occupy at this moment, I can't help but think of it being the 21st day.

Yes, some experts claim it takes 21 days to replace one habit with a new one, hopefully a better one.

Should I move to Chicago or California? I asked myself last night.

Well, in between fleeting thoughts of despair I am able to see the brightness of my heart turning back toward home and my husband and this wondrous and wonderful life I've been given.

"Don't go to your sterbs," they say. Oh dear God what if you are my sterb?

And therein lies the rub.

It's not all peaches and roses...it's more like wine and help me Jesus, but He is doing the job.

I finally converted to Mac land...
...and left that Apple Store beaming and guarded with my new MacBook Air 13-inch under my arm, so these new habits are good ones.

The chief change will be digging into God mo…

Sad, but hopeful...

I know this fog will lift. It's already lifting as I type this on my iPad 2 due to my laptop's hard drive threatening imminent failure.Yes, Black Friday may actually find me at the store with the big, tempting apple with a bite taken out of it on Michigan Avenue, so prominent and famously recognized it doesn't need a name.Or more likely online finally adding one of those Macs to my shopping cart and actually checking out. Less mad at God, feeling His long-term love... I admit I was mad at the Lord for a good minute there. I know, the nerve of me, right?But I asked Him for signs and dreams and felt like I got the go-ahead.I said don't let me make mistakes with my writing like I did before.I know I acted foul in other areas but it just felt good to "conversate," as people say in that made up of a word way.Anyway, when that project became public in the last manner that I EVER expected it to, I knew God orchestrated it that way, and I wondered why."He ain…

Love this song...

I love the song by Prince called "17 Days," and couldn't help but think of it today.
I'm off to buy Seeking Him: Experiencing the Joy of Personal Revival -- a great book that I'm sure God will use to change my life and those lives around me for the better.
I'm surprised Prince didn't send the copyright police for this video yet:

Lead me to the Rock which is higher than I...

Admittedly, it's been good spending time with Him that I hadn't been doing consistently.

Only when I've stopped more and turned to Christ Jesus in crisis-mode is when I realized He was really waiting right there for me all along.

Today I learned that as He is in heaven, so am I right now.God help me...help us all...

So this morning as I climbed higher and higher, looking down to avoid snakes that weren't there -- I looked up and thought of that song, "I go to the Rock..."

Looks like it's based on Psalm 61:

Lead me to the rock
   that is higher than I,
for you have been my refuge,

   a strong tower against the enemy.

And it reminded me of all those times Jesus would just break away from the pressing crowd and climb higher and higher up a mountain to talk with God the Father.

Sometimes He'd spend the night up there.

"Weren't You worried about bugs?" I asked Him this morning, able to talk to Him like a friend about the silliest of most-human c…

Getting over grief: What a difference a day makes...

Grief is such a freaking fascinating thing.

One minute I can be sucking down a glass of Merlot -- something I never do on a Wednesday night -- laughing at Modern Family to mask the pain -- ready to give up on everything again and feeling hopeless.

And then I can wake up on a Thursday morning -- begging "Help me, God..." and "Help us, Lord..." for nearly the 14th day in a row.

I let the Word of our Mighty One wash over me through Pastor Joseph Prince -- who reminded me that lustful thoughts aren't from above, and that we can reject them at their onslaught.

Oh yeah, I should've remembered that little lesson -- and taken a big hint from the visions of snakes around me at the altar when I fasted and prayed. (One was a green one that winked at me...I didn't like that because it reminded me of another nightmare years ago -- and at least that snake's head was soon cut off in the vision.)

But God also showed me a strong chain of links (especially a big sil…

Creating Kindle Singles, getting better...

Since I'm stepping out of depressed-ville and read about "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it..." today and learned that Jesus is the Way out -- my focus is getting better, as I hope is yours...

Therefore I'm curling the weave and writing about these new and interesting happenings:


The 50-page, $1.99 Kindle Singles ebook that drew the attention of MSNBCThe guy who made $19,000 from an iPad app and quit his job

I almost let go...

Today I wrote about when I almost let go, a song I thought about before church yesterday -- and lo and behold I walked in and they sang it.

Commence the ugly cry...

Almost couldn't praise, but of course God kept me and let me...

And of course the message was right on point...

I am where I am supposed to be...


When people misunderstand your writing or don't like what you write -- plus, the Wall Street Journal wrote about me

What a week, to say the least.

First, I underestimated just how large my readership was over on PaulaNealMooney.com because of my Herman Cain article, and that led to unwanted attention (from those outside of Hollywood, that is) for other writings.

Can't people tell a dream sequence from reality? Composite characters and fictionalized truths from documentaries?

That's what I've asked myself. But let me shut up and not write out of anger.
When people find you online... It's been interesting noting who has been reading and just how much that attention is mushrooming.

I still know our LORD God has majorly great plans for all my writings, even if it looks bleak now.

Intertwined with that reality is the fact that people can at times read our writing and be so taken aback by what goes on in our head or the truths we spill or the fictional circumstances that we create in that guise that it's hard to take in black and white.

I've been through it before, and I believ…

Hurting people hurt people... so pray in the Holy Spirit of God

I get it now.

People who are hurting within themselves over their own situations can inadvertently turn around and hurt the people they love -- the gifts from above.

* sigh *

And us writers have to especially understand the power that our pens (and keyboards) wield -- and truly understand that anybody can find stuff online, no matter how obscure.

I really think God wanted this particular writing to be found to teach me a lesson or to shake some stuff up and prevent a much worse fate from happening to many.

But anyway, the lesson I learned today from all of this is when we hurt people, pray in tongues and lean on God wholeheartedly, and He will really see you through.

Real talk.

Not just empty words.

He's done it before.

As a writer, I've experienced great things the Lord has brought through my words. But as a human being, I've made mistakes and caused damage that I really want to take back, if only I could.

I can't...but all things really are possible with our Maker in…