Thursday, November 24, 2011

Sad, but hopeful...

I know this fog will lift.

It's already lifting as I type this on my iPad 2 due to my laptop's hard drive threatening imminent failure.

Yes, Black Friday may actually find me at the store with the big, tempting apple with a bite taken out of it on Michigan Avenue, so prominent and famously recognized it doesn't need a name.

Or more likely online finally adding one of those Macs to my shopping cart and actually checking out.

Less mad at God, feeling His long-term love...

I admit I was mad at the Lord for a good minute there.

I know, the nerve of me, right?

But I asked Him for signs and dreams and felt like I got the go-ahead.

I said don't let me make mistakes with my writing like I did before.

I know I acted foul in other areas but it just felt good to "conversate," as people say in that made up of a word way.

Anyway, when that project became public in the last manner that I EVER expected it to, I knew God orchestrated it that way, and I wondered why.

"He ain't tempt me, but He let me fall," Da.T.R.U.T.H. rhymed this morning in my ears on that elliptical.

Yeah, He let me fall right into His big mighty Holy One's hands.

I see now that it all had to go down in a way that I wouldn't have chosen because it really was all for the better.

Can a man scoop fire onto his lap without being burned? That's what Proverbs asks us rhetorically. No, we can't, unless our Maker snatches us away from the fire we think we're smart enough to handle, even when I'm acting stupid.

My point is that God can see the disaster ahead that we blindly or foolishly and naively walk near to, and works all things together for good to prevent some worse disaster from happening.

I think of tragic news stories avoided.

So I don't need to be mad at God, I need to be thanking Him over and over again for caring about us so much.

I realize some situations are a lot harder than this one.

No outcome may look worse than what some have endured on this earth -- and the Master plan of grace may only be understood in heaven -- but for this situation, I am finally looking past all the hurt and shock and pain I caused (and felt) to be grateful we will never have to feel the pain and hurt and shock that could've been on the other side of a steeper, more rugged cliff.

God really is good. It's all in how we look at Him whether we recognize it.

And He really does correct those whom He loves...so I am feeling his wise, long-term love as something that protected many souls, and drew the ones He ordained in holy matrimony back closer together where we all belong.

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Paula Neal Mooney