My own private stalker...

by Paula Neal Mooney

His name is Paul.

He whooshed into my cyberworld like a hurricane.

He fawned over me with gushing compliments, saying we'd make beautiful biracial babies.

He emailed.

He commented.

He wants to have text.

Hey, hey Paul...
In actuality, all the cyber-attention from BlogPaul -- tech, tattoos, talk -- has felt nice.

'specially on days when I blog and wonder:

"Is there anybody out there?"

Paul is there.

And so is his new WordPress blog, after he gave up on Blogger after seven long years.

I didn't even know Blogger was around that long!

"Life is 95% Jesus Christ…the other 5 for me is tech, tattoos and talk" says Paul's about page, warming my (and his heaven-bound) soul.

I like the things you do for me...
I cried out for link love.

Paul posted his "Brown. Racist. Blog Starlet." piece, as irreverent and spicy as his strong personality.

The image in BlogPaul's header is to die for.

Wish I could paste it here but I don't think I'm as techie as this tech-star who wants to launch a business with me.

He says I blew him off.

I think I'm still thinking...

But his face puts me in mind of John Favreau, one of my favorite actors.

(I've seen his excellent co-starring movie, The Break-Up at least twice now, but I'm not hinting at anything...)

Onward Christian blogger...
Paul is 37, like me, but unmarried. (Have you tried

He spills the wonderful details of his manic brain in hotly-titled posts like "I'm so gay!!" and "To all of my ex-girlfriends," sucking you into his lair.

I love Paul's pics splashed throughout his site, really giving readers a great feel for him as a man.

His complete and sometimes self-deprecating honesty is the stuff great blogs are made of.

I can change for you...
If only my cyber-stalker would move that "About" and "Home" perhaps to his header's left, I wouldn't have to scan for it when I visit.

And that small text font size is readable but would be great if larger. A serif or two won't kill ya!

Get the Latin out your "asides"...

And you know my pet peeve that every blogger should have an email sign-up box.

Fix your RSS buttons at the bottom, 'cause they ain't working for me.

And please, please, please, figure out how to name your WordPress URLs with keywords from your post titles, and not those number thingees. I can just smell the search-engine traffic you're losing.

Then tell me, my-almost-namesake Paul, how you did it. I'm your WordPress protege.


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paul said…
"My own private stalker"

I guess I have been called worse, but what kind of stalker would I be if I did not leave the first comment! THANK YOU for all of the feedback on my new site...I will hold true to my stalkeeness and change everything you mentioned oh hotness that is Paula!

Don't wait too long for the joint venture...strike while the fire is hot (and you KNOW I am!).
Paul said…
"And please, please, please, figure out how to name your WordPress URLs with keywords from your post titles, and not those number thingees. I can just smell the search-engine traffic you're losing."

Done and great point that I wondered about

Over 7 years of posts changed in 5 seconds...thats "word press" baby!!!
Paul said…
and im not 37, im 35
Laura said…

I have to say I winced at the use of the word "stalker" in this article. You see, my best friend from high school acquired a stalker in her college years. It was serious. She had to go to court to get a restraining order against him.

I'd rather see you call Paul a fan. (Unless, you truly feel that he is stalking you.)

All that being said, I'm happy that you have another fan. You've been working hard and you certainly deserve to have many fans (I count myself as one of them).

Thanks for highlighting Paul's site. I'll check it out.
Paul - Sorry I aged, you, younger man!

And Laura - I didn't mean to make you wince with that blog title.

I know stalking is a serious thing that really affects people, so I shouldn't be so playful with it.

ilker said…
Yeah Paula (not Paul) stalks me sometimes as well.. and it's serious! :P
Paul said…
Paula the SELLOUT (yes it's not real Christian-like to say "KissAss" so I won't use that word.).

Laura, I am truly sorry if Paula conjured up bad thoughts with the words 'stalker'...BUT I am not sorry for that in itself...I am sorry that it has taken you all day to write the comment for MY website...well you MUST still be writing it because I have not seen it and if Paula's use of a word 'stalker' upsets you then I can just imagine the bad bad bad baaaaaad words you will find on my site.

Lesbian, homo, gay, I think there is a 'Mexican and Indian' thrown up next to the ultimate bad word (which I know is in there). Then again, I use the word Christian a lot, and if you are a militant Muslim than you would hate that I am a white maybe we should stop saying that too?

Paula, please take note. I imagine you have readers that are Muslim so please do not use the word Christian anymore. Just the word 'white' might set them off so please do not use that either.

I sent a few friends your way Paula and I know that they are strict Vegans so please don't talk about meat ever again and you know when you really think about order to really show your solidarity to your vegan friends, please stop EATING meat all together.

When you say, My 'own' private stalker, you really could be leading people to think that you are full of greed and that you want everything to yourself, so please, don't say own.

People??? Are we that lost that we have to tailor the kinds of 'VERY NORMAL' words that we use?

Lord, take me tonight!(unless of course that won't offend bat's because after all, they are 'nocturnal' animals and I guess we could wait for the morning for God to take me!)!

YES, I know. I just LOST one more reader to my blog (but then again, I would argue the true meaning of the word 'lost' is what this rant is all about!).
Paul said… rock and you know I am kidding about the sellout thing!

haha Listen to me...Im the 2nd grade girl that runs back to her friend and says...Im sorry I said my hair is prettier than yours, will you still be my friend?


You scared me for a minute there, Hunter -- I mean Paul.

(You know humor and sarcasm doesn't always translate well in writing.)

I can understand folks' reactions (especially Manchild's comment on your blog, probably) that have you in this mood.

But the best thing about blogging, I'm learning, is that it gives me insight into myself -- when I'm being not too sensitive to other people's feelings and such.

I know the political correctness of our society goes overboard some days, but I like to listen to feedback and give it honestly.

I had a good conversation with this guy named Gary in the hot tub today (I keep telling him I'm gonna write a book called "Tuesday With Gary.)

We talked about the Gestalth theory of expressing our feelings and not harsh judgement and no blame and getting along and stuff...

Pretty fascination.

I'm rambling.

Just thought I'd share...
theBarefoot said…
Paula loves me best because I have an email subscription box now. Take that Paul! If I get my RSS fixed, you don't stand a chance.

Victory is mine! What the deuce?
LMAO...that was a great post Paula! I'm now going to stalk on over to Paul's blog...single you say eh?! ;-)
Jose said…
Wow, your own personal cyber stalker, that's intense!

I feel like I've been stalking you here lately!

Oh, by-the-way, someone said something bad about you on my blog!

Take care,

Paul said…
Just an FYS (similar to FYI but From Your Stalker)...thanks for telling me to change the Latin on my left sidebar...I have changed it.
Jose said…
Hi Paula,

See how you do! You put me in the top 10 on Blogger search!

Thanks for being you!

paul said…
Now that I recovered from what I am calling Paulagate 2007 and my page being down all day...i added your stupid email box BUT I do now know what my feed address is!!!

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